The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
