trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize