There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
