our cab driver is having phone sex.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
