I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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