Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize