I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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