Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
