is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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