i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
