I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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