before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
