I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's Friday. Sex?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
