you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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