I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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