Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize