I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
