oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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