I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
