There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
