Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
