Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
