he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
