whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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