The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
