How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
