I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
