Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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