Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize