What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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