I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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