its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
