Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
