I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
