She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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