yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
