I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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