before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
