So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
