Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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