I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
