operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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