It's like God shit irony all over that family
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
