She announced her abortion via fbk
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
