Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize