You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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