Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
