He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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