Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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