This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
