just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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