Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i think my tv is drunk
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
