Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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