I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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