She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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