a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My ATM looks so different sober.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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