let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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