New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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