Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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