paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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