U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
